"Strangely,
it tends to be the second class of animals (the Odd) that are more dangerous.
The creature that kills the most people each year is the common Wombat. It is
nearly as ridiculous as its name, and spends its life digging holes in the ground,
in which it hides." Douglas Adams
Most
backpackers don't consider their Australian holiday to be complete unless they've
seen a Kangaroo and a Koala. But there is one Australian creature that is just
as peculiar as its celebrated compatriots, yet is often forgotten from the list
of "must see" Australians animals. The humble
Wombat is one of the strongest burrowing animals in the world. They can out dig
a man with a shovel; they can dig in the hardest of soil, and about the only things
that stop them are solid rock or loose sand.
An
odd-looking animal, they resemble the offspring one might expect if a rat mated
with a teddy bear. Their legs are short and stumpy while their body is round like
a beer keg. Despite this stumpy frame, a Wombat
in full flight can hit speeds of 36km/h. This is faster than an Olympic sprinter.
Wombats
have large brains and this is reflected in their playfulness, which is seen as
a measure of intelligence. Out of all Australian marsupials, Wombats are the most
playful, and use their free time to head butt one another, running away to solicit
a chase and indulging in shoulder rolls and somersaults.
Sadly,
many people naively judge Wombats as stupid on the basis of their habit of charging
straight through obstacles, rather than casually walking around them. But
such superficial judgements once again show how first impressions can be deceiving.
By going through obstacles, Wombats are clearing running tracks from their burrows
to ensure they have straight line escape routes if surprised by a predator.
Once in their burrow, any dog or fox insane enough to follow them risks being
confronted with a rounded bum, covered with very tough skin, which is difficult
to bite. If the assailant attempts to crawl over
the bum, the Wombat will suddenly push up with its powerful legs, crushing the
attacker into the ceiling of the burrow. This can break the attacker's nose, paw
or jaw. If the assailant lingers in the burrow
for too long, the Wombat may decide to back up and use its bum to crush the invader
into the burrow wall.
Aside from using
it for protection, the Wombat also makes good use of its bum to produce its most
famous novelty, square poos. These poos are then
deposited the stones, logs and mushrooms that Wombats use to mark the boundary
of their territory. Because each poo is flat on six sides, the Wombat is able
to manoeuvre his bum into some hard to get at places, make a deposit and be confident
his hard work isn't going to be undone by the poo rolling away.
Bushmen
of the last century were amongst the first humans to appreciate the benefits of
a square poo. Sometimes they wrote numbers on six sides and used them as dice
in bush gambling games.
Although their
production of dice once made Wombats man's best friend, nowadays they pose a danger
to humans when they wander on roads and are hit by passing motorists. A huge barrel
of muscle with a low centre of gravity, Wombats may act as a launching ramp that
sends the car skywards and off the road.
Sometimes
the wounded Wombat survives. If picked up and taken to an animal refuge organisation,
motorists should try to cover their eyes as when frightened, they will try to
push their head into a hole, such as the space under a car seat. With such powerful
muscles, they can do a great job getting their head wedged and the whole seat
may need to be unbolted.

Icon
1)
The Wombat is the unsung hero of Australian animals, and doesn't even appear on
the Australian currency. As one zoologist explained:
"With
the innocent faced, engaging koala people fall in love at first sight; but the
clumsy looking grumby wombat seldom makes a friend among humans. "
But
during the 2000 Olympics, the Wombat got some long overdue recognition when Roy
and HG unveiled their mascot, the lewd and rude Fatso the Fat Arsed Wombat;
aka the battler's prince.
Fatso's
pose was that of a perpetual moon wearing a pair of Dunlop Volleys. Comic
animations depicted him waddling across the TV screen leaving little nuggets as
a reminder of his grace.
Fatso caused
a frenzied sensation; joining Gold Medallists like Michael Klim, Susie O'Neil
and Grant Hackett on the winners' dais.
So
popular in fact, he undermined attempts to sell the the official, and very generic,
Olympic mascots, Millie, Ollie and Syd. As Fatso's star rose,
the IOC's tall poppy syndrome reared its ugly head and they tried to cut Fatso
down by banning athletes appearing with him. Public opinion, flamed by the outraged
Roy and HG, later forced the IOC to retreat in embarrassment.
As
well as undermining the IOC's marketing campaign, Fatso undermined that of the
Australian Organising Committee. The AOC's $15 million campaign was geared
towards the famous Boxing Kangaroo which they had bought from former Australian
of the year, Alan Bond. But against Fatso, the Kangaroo appeared well
past its prime and was quickly dealt a knock out blow.
Despite calls to mass-produce the battler's prince, Roy and HG refused
on the basis they didn't want to cheapen Fatso with any kind of crude commercialisation.
The one and only fat arsed wombat was later sold at auction for $80,000 with the
proceeds given to charity.
2) The
Wombat is the faunal emblem of South Australia.
Industry
1)
Meat - As the Wombat is a huge keg of prime muscle with a high fat content,
there could be a lucrative trade in raising them for the abattoir.
However
farming them is difficult as if they are enclosed, they will tunnel their way
to freedom. Like fellow escape artists the Kangaroo and the Echidna, any enclosure
of a Wombat requires a much greater financial investment than that required of
a cow, horse or sheep. Such an investment would unlikely deliver a return as so
few Australians would be willing to eat them.
The
NSW Wildlife Information and Rescue Service (WIRES)
Conservation
links