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Inaccurate stereotypes on this site

Unsavoury football fans across time

AFL clubs' marketing slogans and their ideal business partners

 


Official AFL maketing slogans for 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017

Never discount the slogan. It helps give the club its identity so that our football watching becomes an expression of values, rather than just taking perverse delight from a spectacle that somewhat resembles a bunch of disorganised men chasing a chicken.

It is the belief in such values that can be the tipping point that persuades us to get off the couch where we watch football like a stoned jellyfish to spending hundreds of dollars on merchandise so we can scream abuse and yell all decked out in club colours.

Because slogans are part of a club’s traditions and aspirations, a great deal can be learnt from the slogans each club comes up with from year to year. The feral club that we sometimes refer to as Collingwood tends to stick to ‘side by side we stick together.’ This is obviously a reference to the supporters’ poor dental hygiene that has resulted in their teeth sticking together with plaque. The implication being that supporters need to proud of their inferiority. Signing up for a Collingwood membership is an extension of that.

Port Adelaide is another club that tends to lack imagination when it comes to slogans. It sticks to, ‘We are Port Adelaide.’ This is helpful for the Power supporters who might have otherwise thought the club was Port Augusta or Warrnambool.

When we hear the slogan for the first time, we have to be mindful that they tend to be more reflective of a club’s aspirations rather than its traditions. For example, when Richmond tells us they are strong and bold, we need to remember they won’t be there in September. Likewise, when GWS tells us to expect “big things”, we need to expect something small – especially when it comes to crowd size.

We also need to be mindful that clubs don’t just create their slogans with potential members in mind; they also create them in order to make the club appeal to sponsors.  For example, the Adelaide Crows have always tried to appeal to major sponsor Toyota so that in return for cash, it can release press releases stating,

"Toyota and Adelaide have much in common: we both have a winning culture and an uncompromising pursuit of excellence through passion, innovation and hard work,"

The club could have added that Adelaide players want to go anywhere but Adelaide, as do most Toyota drivers.

In the interest of helping supporters decide whether a club is really an expression of values that can elicit more than a stoned jelly fish response, this site has evaluated five years of AFL slogans for their truthfullness and suitability for corporate partnership.

 

Adelaide Crows 

2013 slogan - You're a required player
2014 slogan - We're ready to fly…so get on board
2015 slogan - Unleash 2015
2016 slogan - We fly as one.
2017 slogan - We fly as one.

Review

Adelaide is never going to be a hot tourist destination. Consequently, cosmopolitan products are wasted on a club such as the Crows. On the positive side, because the city has little respect Australian wide, Adelaide residents have learnt not to worry what others think of them, which is only one step away from being fulltime wearers of crocs, ugg boots or other fashion travesties.

Ideal sponsors - Crocs, ugg boots

Alternative slogans

Don't go home...please

Don't worry what others think.

Brisbane Lions 

2013 slogan - Because pride is within
2014 slogan - Believe. Belong.
2015 slogan - Believe. Belong.
2016 slogan - Believe. Belong.
2017 slogan - All for one.

Review

Intellectual slogans will always look phoney on a club that once based itself on the Gold Coast despite having Brisbane in its name. For three years, the club pressed ahead with believe belong, probably because one-year was too short for a new slogan the marketing department to think of a new one. After three years of failure, it was pretty obvious most potential members neither believed not belonged. Still short of ideas, it found inspiration with the three musketeers and changed to 'all for one' but so as not to place unrealistic pressure on players thinking of going hoe, it dropped the one for all.

Ideal sponsors - XXXX, Bundaberg RUM

Alternative slogans

Don't go home...please.
Believe. Belong. One Day
Don't think, just do.

Carlton Blues 

2013 slogan - I am Carlton
2014 slogan - We are the Navy Blues
2015 slogan - One Club. One Tribe. One Love
2016 slogan - Bound by Blue.
2017 - Bound by Blue

Review

There is no I in team unless that team is Carlton. Carlton has always been a club of mercenaries. In decades past, the club's success was largely based on its cheque book. When a salary cap reduced this power, the club responded by using brown paper bags under the table, but that ended poorly. More recently, it hired coach Mick Malthouse whose demeanour painted a picture of someone with a personal grudge to settle with Collingwood for showing him the door. The egocentrism of Carlton was reflected in the use of 'I' in its 2013 slogan. In 2014, it took the dishonest brown paper bag route by changing I to We, which is simply not what Carlton is about.

Ideal sponsors - Facebook, Google+

Alternative slogans

This time it’s personal

 

Collingwood Magpies 

2015 slogan - Side by side we stick together.
2016 - Side by side.
2017 - Side by side

Review

Collingwood doesn't change its slogan from year to year, probably because most of the Collingwood fans are still learning how to read it and it would be foolish to confuse them with a new slogan so soon.

Since we can all agree that dental care is a significant problem amongst Collingwood fans, perhaps side by side would work well with an orthodontist chain. Then again, the teeth of many Collingwood fans are stuck together already as failure to brush results in plague fusing many teeth together.

If a little bit of innovation wouldn't go astray, a similar meaning could be inferred form a slogan like straighten up.

Ideal sponsors - Colgate

Alternative slogans

Straighten up

Essendon Bombers

2013 slogan - Whatever it takes
2014 slogan - Don the sash
2015 - Are you back in for 2015? 
2016 - Don the Sash
2017 - Be part of our comeback story

Review

All of Essendon's slogans need to be considered in the context of performance enhancing drugs. 'Whatever it takes' was read as 'what did we take?' 'Don the sash' over your needle prick. 'Are you back for 2015?' because star players wont be here for 2016.

Ideal sponsors - Sweiss multivitamins

Alternative slogans

It's almost over.

Fremantle Dockers 

2013 slogan - Let's go Freo
2014 slogan - Own the moment
2015 slogan - Forever Freo
2016 slogan - Forever Freo

Review

Fremantle is a joke and there slogans can't be taken seriously.

Ideal sponsors - Crazy Johns, McDonalds (Maybe Freo fans could dye their hair red in tribute to Ronald.)

Alternative slogans

Send in the clowns
Nothing has changed

Geelong Cats 

2013 slogan - Footy full on
2014 slogan - #belonggeelong. Be part of the greatest team of all
2015 slogan - The Mighty Cats.
2016 slogan - Greatness. Our Tradition. Our Ambition.
2017 slogan - Greatness. Our Tradition. Our Ambition.

Review

Through all its misfortunes, Geelong has remained a cheerful club, and a club not hated by other fans. Perhaps this can be attributed to the positive nature of its fans.

Ideal sponsors, LG

Alternative slogans

Life's Good

Gold Coast Suns

2013 slogan - Take your seat
2014 slogan - Fire up
2015 slogan - Fire up for 2015
2016 slogan - We are Gold Coast. We are your Suns
2017 slogan - We are Gold Coast.

Review

When the Gold Coast chose suns as their moniker, they were probably desperate for the day they could use it in a pun like Suns rising, or on the rise. It would be a slogan that would work well Gold Coast property developers if they hadn't gone all bankrupt.

The debauchery of schoolies and Gold Coast nightlife provided an idea for the 2016 slogan. For all those illegitimate kids out there who didn’t know who their fathers were, and fathers who remember an intimate congress with a lady but not much else, “we are your suns” definitely resonated when spoken.

For 2017, 'We are Gold Coast' was needed in case potential fans thought it was the team really represented Alice Springs, Cairns or Wagga Wagga or Brisbane (as it did in the old days.)

Ideal sponsor - Meriton apartments, Durex condoms

Alternative slogans

On the rise

GWS Giants

2013 slogan - stand tall
2014 slogan - stand tall
2015 slogan - stand tall
2016 slogan - Expect big things.
2017 slogan - There's a giant in all of us.

Review

For three seasons, GWS's slogan had been stand tall, which was perhaps reflected the club's hope that fans would stand up to cover the camera shots of all the empty seats. (It certainly couldn't be said that the home grounds were standing room only.)

Expect big things sounded a bit like over compensation. When men say big things are expected, usually something small is discovered. There is a giant in all of us could be a good lead in line to selling some magic beans.

Ideal sponsors - With multiple home grounds, perhaps a transport company would work well. Greyhound buses, City Rail

Alternative slogans
Suggested partnership slogan - On the move

Hawthorn Hawks 

2013 slogan - Always Hawthorn
2014 slogan - Always Hawthorn
2015 slogan - Made from brown and gold
2016 slogan - Hawthorn. Always
2017 slogan - Strong as one

Review

It can't be said that Hawthorn comes across as cool. The colours are not really combinations to be found on the cat walk and the lack of imagination in coming up with slogans is nothing really cat walk territory either.

Ideal sponsors – Kmart
Alternative slogans

Because being fashionable isn’t everything

The North Melbourne Kangaroos 

2013 slogan - Spirit: then, now & forever
2014 slogan - We will rise together
2016 slogan - Shinboner Spirit. One & All

Review

The Kangaroos have been an endangered species for a few years now, which perhaps explains why they keep creating religious-like slogans. It is also a club that is prone to go walkabout but never be happy where it is. It has kangaroos as its moniker yet keeps harping back to shinboners in reverence to butchers of the past. It's almost as if those who run the club are desperate for some butchering of a roo.

Ideal sponsors; a funeral parlour, Catholic education or Salvation Army
Alternative slogans

We're there for you

Melbourne Demons 

2013 slogan - First & forever
2014 slogan - My heart beats true
2015 slogan - My heart beats true
2016 slogan - My heart beats true.
2017 slogan - Sign up and be counted.

Review

My heart beats true could have been a reference to the life support the club was on.

Ideal sponsors - After they tanked to get draft picks, the question to ask of sponsors was whether they really wanted to be associated with a club that did the equivalent of stealing from the church collection plate?

Alternative slogans

That's not a tank, this is a tank

Port Power 

2013 slogan - Show your true passion
2014 slogan - We are Port Adelaide
2015 slogan - Bring the noise.
2016 slogan - We are Port Adelaide.
2017 slogan - We are Port Adelaide.

Review

Port seems to be having some trouble deciding if the Port Adelaide Magpies and the Port Adelaide Power are one and the same. For intellectual challenged fans struggling to decide which one, the club’s 2014, 16 and 17 slogan of ‘we are Port Adelaide’ was basically a case of patting the fans on the head and telling them not to worry themselves which such difficult concepts. The continuation of the slogan either reflected the club's lack of imagination or fear that it had to remind the supporters which club to join in case they were siging up for Port Augusta.

Ideal sponsors -  Great Southern Energy. 

Alternative slogans

Time for another South Australian Black Out

Richmond Tigers 

2013 slogan - The roar is back
2014  Strong & bold - bring the roar home
2015 Strong and Bold -
2016 - Strong and Bold -
2017 - Strong and Bold

Review

Richmond's passion is a double edge sword that the club needs to manage. Sometimes the club has tried to curtail that passion, which would be appealing to manufacturers of straight jackets. Sometimes the club has just decided to let it out and buckle up for the ride. It is a dangerous ploy that may necessitate a holiday at seasons end to relieve the stress.

Ideal sponsors - Vic Road Safety, Qantas Holidays

Alternative slogans

Strong and Bold, and we're heading for ninth like the Tigers of Old.
Strong and Bold, but remember, we wont be there in September.
Strong and Bold, we just can't kick straight or make the eight.

 

St Kilda Saints 

2013 - Loyalty unites us
2014 slogan -More than a football club
2016 slogan - Be St Kilda
2017 slogan - 31 by 31

Review

You have to feel sorry for the marketers at St Kilda. How do you come up with a slogan for a club that has always been a basket case on and off the field. In 2013, the marketers decided to go with 'loyalty unites us' as a kind of facade. The year culminated with the club sacking its coach, its coach accusing the club of disloyalty and the football club trading out its loyal servants for draft picks.

Ideal sponsors -Crown Casino

Alternative slogans

You can't accuse of of being band wagoners.
It's the winning streak the matters.
Hope survives

Sydney Swans 

2013 slogan - Proudly Sydney
2014 slogan - Proudly Sydney
2015 slogan - Proudly Sydney
2016 slogan - Welcome to the Spectacular.
2017 slogan - Proudly Sydney.

Review

It is quite odd to see a club need to constanty state that it is proud of the city it represents. Maybe this stems from insecurity that comes from the fact that it used to be South Melbourne and doesn't want supporters to think it was proud of that heritage.

The 2016 slogan was very camp and perhaps an attempt to ride off Sydney's Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras image.

Ideal sponsors - Durex condoms, Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras

Alternative slogans-

Don't risk it, cover your Buddy

West Coast Eagles 

2013 slogan - Inspired
2014 slogan - Our strength is YOU
2015 The West is Ours
2016 - The West is United
2017 slogan - The west is ours

Review

The slogans sound a bit like drug gangs trying to stake out territory in a drug war. It would be nice to think that West Coast have settled all their scores and now only use legal drugs. Perhaps Roche would be a partner otherwise a law firm in case of any relapses

Ideal sponsors – Roche, Slater & Gordon

Alternative slogan

We are legal eagles now

Western Bulldogs 

2013 slogan -(Our club, Our west,) Our heartland
2014 - Gather the pack
2015 - Gather the pack
2016 - Be more bulldog
2017 - Be more bulldog

Review

“Boxing judges are professionals and would never support a fix, the AFL would never make directives for rule interpretations to benefit one club over another, and the Bulldogs didn’t receive a favourable umpiring that won them the 2016 premiership.”  While it is nice that so many people have faith in the sincerity of the millionaires that run the world of boxing and the AFL, there is a down side to delusion.

Alternative slogans

Blow that whistle
Go along
Follow! Now!

 

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  Was this more interesting than a news update of players in a recovery session standing around in the ocean looking cold or of a team 'training without incident'?