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 Collingwood Magpies No teeth? no problem, all welcome The Collingwood Magpies claim they are Mancester United of Australian sport. However much to the enjoyment of all who love to see tall poppies cut down, they are unable to back up their boasting with any kind of substance. Known as "Greg Norman syndrome" or "Colliwobbles", if Collingwood does make the grand final, they have an uncanny ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. In total, they have appeared in 40 grand finals, and have lost 26 of them. Perhaps being so close, yet remaining so far, has made Collingwood fans more hungry for they are almost as numerous in the bad times as they are in the good. They are also prone to live on past successes long after they should have been consigned to the museum room. Dregs of Melbourne The Magpies were established in 1892 to represent the Melbourne municipality of Collingwood; an area that had been described as "pre-ordained to be a slum". As a low laying, poorly drained region, it was frequently flooded with sewage and the dregs of society. It was said that the Magpie name was inspired by the South Australian inter-colonial team. However considering Collingwood's close associations with Pentridge Prison, perhaps the name came from 'Magpie' suites, the name given to the convict uniforms in the colonial era. "Essendon was a staunch lower-middle-class Protestant club, Melbourne was the Establishment Protestant club. Richmond and North Melbourne were Catholic clubs. Carlton, St Kilda and South Melbourne saw themselves as "respectable" working class clubs and everyone saw Collingwood as occupying the lowest social status of all. Working class, Catholic and located in the poorest, most crowded, most unsanitary part of Melbourne, Collingwood players and supporters alike were regarded as aggressive, unruly, and profane. " Understanding their low social standing, it was said that the fan's desire for success had been driven by a "strong sense of social inferiority". Indeed their sense of inferiority must have been strong for successes were numerous. Prior to World War II, the club won premierships in 1902, 1903, 1910, 1917, 1919, 1927, 1928, 1929, 1930, 1935 and 1936. The club's culture was built around the ethic that a "champion team will always beat a team of champions." Show ponies or excuse making were never tolerated. Post-war, the culture began to change as the club finished runners up a record 14 times. "So predictable was this phenomenon, that a word has evolved to describe it. As regular as blossoming jasmine, Melbourne's spring would bring on the 'Collywobbles'. You could rely on the 'Magpies' to flounder when it matters. " The most famous example came in the 1970 grand final against Carlton. The Magpies completely dominated the first half and at the main break led 10.13 to 4.5. Inexplicably, they ended up losing by 10 points. More recently, the club made the 2002 grand final and after entering the home stretch with their noses in front and momentum in their favour, they once again showed that Greg Norman is their pin-up boy. Rather than send the players to a psychologist, president Eddie instead blamed the loss on playing with "one hand tied behind our backs" in reference to Brisbane's salary cap concessions. Rather than address Collingwood's problems, Eddie's excuses exacerbated them for they created the perception that the Lions could not be beaten. The following year the Pies had a chance for redemption. They entered the 2003 grand final as favourites and sure enough, they humiliated themselves against a team of grandpas held together by bandages. When the Lions applied physical intimidation, Collingwood laid down like dogs.
Collingwood show their true colours In 2004, their Magpie cousin from Adelaide was able to demonstrate that a team of champions will defeat a champion team. Against a team that could pay an extra $600,000 a year, the Port Adelaide Power rose to a new level and showed Collingwood how it should be done. Ironically, by defeating Brisbane, Port Adelaide ensured that Collingwood's record of four straight premierships would not be equalled. Although psychological problems means future premierships are out of the question, at least Collingwood fans still have their past glories to live on. Despite its love of history, modern Collingwood is very different from the Collingwood of the past. Today's generation love their tacky heroes. Typifying their breed is their iconic "Joffa." Resembling Gonzo wearing a pimp's jacket, Joffa is the leader that rallies the cheer squad into song. When Collingwood seems to have the game in its grasp, he unveils a banner saying "game over." Joffa also likes to rub salt into the wounds of Collingswood's rivals – such as Essendon. In 2006, when Essendon appeared headed for the wooded spoon and Collingwood headed for a top four position, he brought a spoon to the ground to symbolically present it to the red and black faithful. Unfortunately for Joffa, Essendon won the game, avoided the wooden spoon and denied Collingwood a top four position in the process.
Collingwood Magpies supporters are: 2001 when compared to other Australians
2004 when compared to other AFL supporters
2006 - When compared to other AFL supporters
Good
old Collingwood forever, Out of all the 16 clubs, only Collingwood specifically mentions the barrackers in its theme song. On the down side, the line: "the premiership is a cakewalk" seems reminiscent of a choking Greg Norman missing easy putts and spraying his drives as he tries to convince himself that golf is an easy game. Alternative version: Good old Collingwood forever,
Carlton - Collingwood has met Carlton in six grand finals. It has lost five of them. Collingwood's only win was in 1910 was known as the 'Bloodbath' after an all-in brawl developed in the final term. Since that victory, Collingwood has suffered a string of grand final humilations at the hands of Carlton. The worst of these was in the 1970 grand final. Leading by 44 points at half-time, Collingwood fell to pieces and lost by 10 points. Richmond - Traditionally, Richmond has been a working class club who like Collingwood, have extremely passionate supporters. As one Magpie fan explained his hatred for the Tigers: "I firmly believe that we all hate them 'cause they are like us - passionate, feral and complete nuts!" Essendon - The rivalry with Essendon hit the big time in 1993 when a low key build up to an ANZAC day clash drew 98,000 fans and resulted in a drawn match. The event was not the idea of Eddie McGuire. Perhaps that is why it was successful. Essendon also lost the 1990 grand final to Collingwood, thereby becoming one of the few teams not to have benefitted from Colliwobbles. Such is the Collingwood tendency to live on past glories, it is a defeat that Essendon supporters are never allowed to forget.
1) Three friends all die at
the same time and end up at the pearly gates where Albert Einstein is waiting
for them. The first chap approached and Alby asks him, "250" the chap replies. www.convictcreations.com "Ah excellent. We can participate in meaningful and articulate discussions with my mates Plato and Newton about the Theory of Relativity, Chaos Theory, Astrophysics and the Theory of Everything. We will have much to discuss. You may enter." The second fellow approached the gate and Albert asks him the same question. "150" was the reply. "Ah good. We can discuss the fascinating subjects of History, Philosophy, Economics and Sociology. We will have much to discuss. You may enter." The third chap approaches the gate nervously. "Now my good man, what is your IQ?" "50" the third man replies sheepishly. To which Alby's response was .... "How about those Pies, hey?" 2) Q. What
do you do for a drowning Collingwood player?
Carringbush Magpie Moselle:
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Roy
Morgan research
