Essendon Bombers

Australian Democrats meets McDonalds

From its conservative middle-class protestant base, Essendon has evolved to be some kind of football hybrid of the Australian Democrats and McDonalds. Rather than focus on winning football games, it is a money hungry political institution wanting to demonstrate its social compassion to the world.

Essendon's image today can be traced back to its conservative beginnings in 1871. As a VFA club, it represented the growth area in Melbourne's north west; an area typically home to protestant middle-classes. In 1896, the working class inner city clubs broke away from the VFA to form the VFL. Although differentiated from the inner-city in ideology and in class, Essendon received an invitation to be part of the breakaway due to its on-field power and status as a region of growth. It was an invitation that the inner-city clubs soon regretted as Essendon won the first VFL flag. Essendon subsequently went on to win a league record of 16 premierships.

Initially the club was known as the 'Same Olds' as it was in the habit of winning premierships from year to year. Its jumper; however, was anything but generic. The bright red diagonal on a black background was so striking that players were referred to as the "blood-stained niggers." In the 1920's, the club became known as the Bombers due to its close proximity to the war-time airport.

The Bomber's conservative history ensured that for the next 60 years nothing much happened to the club off the field. Appreciating something had to change, in 1981 the club hired Kevin Sheedy as its coach. Sheedy was a former Richmond backman who had been renowned for innovative and dirty play. As coach, he applied the same philosophy. Consequently, a club of effeminate clean-cut athletic-go-getters without imagination was transformed into a tough and unpredictable unit.

In addition to demanding his players be tough, Sheedy also used a form of football known as "tagging". Sheedy would have a number of his lesser players run with the opposition's best players in order to negate their influence. For the critics, it was ugly and negative football, but Sheedy didn't care as his main concern was to win games. In 83, the plan seemed to be working brilliantly as the club made its first grand final appearance in 15 years. Unfortunately for the Bombers, the grand final appearance culminated in a record defeat at the hands of Hawthorn. Like true champions, Essendon picked themselves off the canvas and in 84 and 85 they went on to record back-to-back grand final victories, which in turn led to a surge in membership.

By 1992, the club had outgrown its home in Windy Hill and so it moved to the MCG where improved accessibility and a big time atmosphere caused its crowds and membership to thrive.

 In 93, the move paid instant dividends. In the preliminary final, Essendon triumphed over West Coast and Sheedy celebrated by waving his jacket above his head in front of the huge crowd. In the subsequently grand final, Essendon demolished Carlton and Aboriginal player Michael Long won the Norm Smith medal in the International Year of Indigenous Peoples. The waving of jackets subsequently became a Essendon-West Coast tradition and Aboriginality became associated with the Essendon football club.

Off the field, Sheedy continued his eccentric behaviours and in the process, Essendon evolved into Australia's biggest sporting brand. In 1998, Sheedy called senior Kangaroos "marshmallows". When Roos fans took offence and pelted him with the sweets, Sheedy loved it and declared the rematch would be "the marshmallow game".

No Sheedy, no Hird, no hope and $330 reserved seats

In the beginning of the new millennium, the club was at the peak of its powers. It was then that greed and age, the two main corruptive influences of the powerful institutions, transformed Essendon into another St Kilda. In regards to greed, dollars signs had engulfed the administration's eyes and so in 2000 the club moved to the smaller Docklands Stadium in order to reap more financial rewards. The main motivation for the move was to restrict the ability of the average fan to attend games, which would force them to buy memberships. Furthemore, corporate boxes would be easier to sell when the home game carries the positive label of a "sell-out".

With profit, rather than fan welfare in mind, a perception was created that the team should be renamed Essendon Inc. Furthermore, smaller crowds meant that it was rival Collingwood that drew the huge crowds at the MCG and became more closely associated with the spiritual image of football.

Sheedy also started showing the signs of age. As happens to all old people, ideology, a place in history, and morals became more important than winning at all costs. Instead of focussing on football, Sheedy wanted to be seen as some kind of human rights activist. To strengthen the Aboriginal associations with the brand, Sheedy drafted a load of useless Aboriginal players simply because they were Aboriginal. Consequently whereas other clubs had Aboriginal players winning Norm Smith medals and Brownlow medals, Essendon's Aborigines were playing in the reserves. In addition to Aborigines, Sheedy also wanted to coach some other ethnics. In 2001 he drafted Daniel McAlister with the number 5 draft selection. McAlister was a useless player who really shouldn't have been drafted at all; let alone with a top ten pick. He was only drafted because he was a Maori.

In 2006, the racial marketing was turned up a notch when Essendon decided that a Muslim would fit nicely with their Bomber logo and red and black colour scheme. The club recruited a young Bacher Houli, and subsequently predicted that he would be the first Muslim to play in the AFL. When it emerged that plenty of Muslims have already played in the AFL, the campaigns were changed to the first "devout" Muslim. When it emerged that the other Muslims had considered themselves to be devout, the club decided that perhaps the racial marketing should be given a rest for a while.

Appreciating all its money-hungry policies were giving them an image problem, the Bombers countered the negative perceptions with a marketing campaign to resist AFL pressure to develop an away strip. In theory, by taking a public stand in support of their traditions and history, fans would be able to forgive all the board's commercialisation. Unfortunately for the club, it looked a bit stupid to be so selective with its historical tributes. After all, the jumper that they were so proud of and refused to change once had the club being referred to as "blood-stained" niggers.

By 2007, the club had become a farce. Kevin Sheedy was publicly berating other coaches for using the tactic of "flooding." Much like others considered his tagging policies of the 1980s to be ugly, he considered using extra men in defence to be ugly and a scourge on the modern game. By refusing to compromise Kevin ensured that the Bombers languished at the bottom of the table.

With the club going nowhere, the administration was forced to act, and decided that Sheedy's contract would not be renewed. While it was a fair judgment to make, after 27 years of loyal service Sheedy deserved better than being told about his demise mid season. Coach and club then found themselves in a very public slanging match. The coach referred to the club as a "client" and the club retaliated by vowing that institutions always defeat the individual.

In the face of public criticism of its handling of the situation, the Bombers explained that it needed to announce Sheedy's demise mid-season so that it could compete with other clubs looking for a coach. It was a ridiculous explanation considering that, of the four clubs that appointed new coaches in 2007, Essendon was the last to do so and appointed Mathew (Matty) Knights, the coach of their second's team who no one else wanted anyway.

The choice of Knights was a farce in itself. The club had announced that it would only consider someone from a background of success, which should have ruled Knights out instantly. Knights had played for Richmond when the club achieved even less than St Kilda. After retiring, he coached Port Adelaide to St Kilda-like-success. As coach of the Bendigo Bombers, he did little better. Furthermore, whereas Sheedy was a dirty and innovative mongrel in his playing days, Knights was an effeminate receiver. On the field, he had once been felled by the diminuitive Tony Liberatore, and retaliated by slapping the little man with an open hand. Knights' crying and slapping was an embarrassment to the Tigers faithful and there was much celebration when he was stripped of the captaincy. As Essendon coach, Knights again showed his true colours by allowing himself to be photographed wearing tights!

The appointment of Knights was a clear sign that the board was looking to get away from the rugged image of Sheedy. With Knights at the helm, no Essendon player could be criticised for being soft because their marshmellow coach had been the softest of them all. It would be like an ex-prostitute demanding all others be chaste. As the board would have been well aware of this, it seemed as though it was trying to build a softer, effeminate and more compassionate image for an all-inclusive future. The Australian Democrats would have indeed been proud.

The marshmellow orders his troops into battle - Mathew Knights in tights

Roy Morgan research

Essendon Bombers supporters are:

2001 when compared to other Australians

2004 when compared to other AFL supporters

2006 - When compared to other AFL supporters

• 33% more likely to work in sales
• 26% more likely to choose a car mainly on it's looks
• 36% more likely to believe it only feels like a holiday if they leave Australia
• 46% more likely to really enjoy going online to chat
• 24% more likely to have been to a nightclub or disco in the last three months

Club song Essendon Bombers theme song

See the Bombers fly up, up!
To win the premiership flag.
Our boys who play this grand old game,
Are always striving for glory and fame!
See the bombers fly up, up,
The other teams they don't fear,
They all try their best,
But they can't get near,
As the bombers fly up!

It is hardly the kind of lyrical genius that would bring a tear to the eye of John Lennon or Bob Dylan. It is also interesting to note that whilst the other clubs sing about loyalty, unity or courage, Essendon sings about "glory and fame". It could be argued that such motivations make it an attractive club to the wanker element in society. Unfortunately, with 16 premierships, the wankers have had a lot of fame to sing about.

Rivalries

Carlton Blues- Carlton has 16 flags to Essendon's 16; the most in the league. Essendon defeated Carlton in the 93 Grand Final which Carlton president John Elliot attributed to Essendon cheating the salary cap. Carlton knocked Essendon off in the 1999 preliminary final and it was later revealed that Carlton was cheating the salary cap. Carlton went on to lose the Grand Final but still felt it was a good year as they had denied Essendon a probable flag.

West Coast Eagles -In 1993, Essendon beat the West Coast and coach Kevin Sheedy waved his jacket in celebration. The following year Essendon lost to the Eagles and West Coast fans waved their jackets in celebration. Upon their next meeting, Essendon won and their fans waved jackets. Some Essendon fan then wrote a song about waving jackets and sticking it to the Eagles. In 2004, Kevin Sheedy collapsed in the heat while coaching Essendon in the west. When he came to, he saw thousands of Eagle's fans waving their jackets. (The jacket is now on display in the medallion club at Melbournes Dockland Stadium.)

Collingwood Magpies - Collingwood has long competed with Essendon for the honour of being Melbourne's most successful and popular club. Having lost the 1990 Grand Final to Collingwood, Essendon fans are forever reminded that just as they are the only team that can't beat Port Power in a final, they are the only team that can't beat Collingwood in the Grand Final.

Every year, the two clubs battle on Anzac day which outside the Grand Final, is the biggest match on the AFL sporting calendar.

The two clubs are also competiting for the title of being the Machester United of Australian sport. Essendon has the corporate deal making and the pretty boys while Collingwood has the president and the supporter base.

Hawthorn Hawks - In 1983, the Hawks inflicted a then record Grand Final defeat on Essendon. The following year, Essendon turned the tables. In 1985, Essendon backed it up with another Grand Final victory over Hawthorn. In the 80s, the clashes between the two clubs were not just the highest standard, they were also the toughest.

Nth Melbourne - Because they drew supporters from the same area, Essendon managed to have Nth Melbourne excluded from the VFL when it broke away form the VFA in 1896. Nth Melbourne didn't enter the VFL until 1925 and they have blamed this lack of history as the reason it lacks Essendon's supporter base.

In 1998, some Nth fans decided to inform Essendon of their softness by throwing marshmallows at coach Kevin Sheedy. 

Nth Melbourne's Grand Final victories in 1996 and 1999 have both came against opponents that had defeated Essendon by a point in the preliminary final. For a while, Essendon saw defeating Nth as the flags they should have had.

Western Bulldogs - The bulldogs are a western suburb's neighbour that lacks the success and supporter base of Essendon. When they play the Bombers, they usually rise above themselves. They were the only team to defeat Essendon in the 2000 season.

Brisbane Lions - In 2001, Brisbane coach Leigh Mathews said of the all conquering bombers "if it bleeds, you can kill it". The Lions indeed defeated the Bombers, broke their aura of invincibility and repeated the feat in the 2001 Grand Final. It is a defeat the Bombers still haven't recovered from.

Essendon jokes

1)A reporter from the Herald Sun asked James Hird: "Are all Essendon players conceited?" Hird replied: "I don't really know, but I'm not."

2) Mathew Lolyd was talking to a very pretty lass about the game he had just played. For almost three hours, he talked about the marks he took, the goals he scored and how it felt to hear the crowd cheering. The lass gave a bored sigh and Mathew realised he was being a little self-centred. Like a true gentlemen he said: "Enough talk about me. Let's talk about you. What did you think of my game today?"

3)"Hirds playing on Loyld, fumbling around for the ball and probably his
pen to sign the autograph book..." www.convictcreations.com

Essendon as a wine

Review

Windy Peak Hill Pinot Noir:
Fine wine with a lot of character, always a crowd favourite due to its taste and longevity. Does very well at awards as it is a perennial finalist. Generates strong following by knowledgeable supporters, always a top seller. Wine maker is slightly eccentric.

Tasting notes:

Wine seems to have gone off. Left too long in the cellar.

Icon

[Top]