West Coast Eagles

Need for Speed

 When taking the piss, for years the West Coast Eagles didn’t offer much material to work with. Unlike the Fremantle Dockers, the Eagles never had hideous colours, or a senseless anchor. Unlike St Kilda, they never had a tragic history of failure. Unlike Collingwood, whose fans have always been obnoxious whinges, West Coast fans have traditionally been ok. Without stupid colours, a history of failure or unsavoury fans, the West Coast was a difficult club to write stories about. As a result, it was quite boring.

Sometime in the new millennium, the players likewise felt that the club was a little boring and so decided to remedy the situation with a few pick-me-ups. The drugs of choice were cocaine, ice and ketamine. The drugs had an interesting effect on the culture of the club. Players found themselves on police tapes, linked to underworld figures, passing out in all manner of unusual locations, crashing their cars, running from the police, fighting taxi drivers, fighting each other, yet still playing exceptionally well. The aggression, self-confidence, and heightened awareness that the drugs gave them off the field appeared to be transferred onto the field as well.

It seems the club was aware of what was going on - as the coach confessed that at least eight players had confided in him that they liked a drug or two. Although the coach warned the players that they were skating on thin ice, his admission of drug use begged the question as to why he never drew a line in the sand. The cynical conclusion was that it wouldn’t have been a metaphorical line, and so the players would have snorted it. In any case, with the new rules being brought in to quicken the pace of the game perhaps the coach could appreciate the need to inject some speed.   

In order to understand why the Eagles felt like they needed drugs one needs to explore their history. The club was established in 1987. The name 'West Coast' was chosen to signify the whole of Western Australia, not just Perth. Although choosing a name like West Coast aimed to please everyone, trying hard not to offend also laid the foundations of a very generic club. With no geographic locality to take the piss out of, 20 years later players perhaps decided that West Coke could be a clever twist on the name that would give them more character.

 For its moniker, the club choose the wedge-tailed eagle. As the AFL already had plenty of birds as monikers, it was a little disappointing that West Coast couldn't provide some variety. To compound matters, the club choose an extremely boring theme song. It contained simplistic and generic lyrics such as:

We're the Eagles - West Coast Eagles
And we're here to show you why
We're the big birds, Kings of the big game
We're the Eagles, we're flying high.

Again, two decades later the players stepped up to fill the void in character. Via the use of drugs, they felt like were they sang “we’re flying high”, the meaning would be felt in their mind, not just their heart.

In only their second year, the Eagles made the finals. They played in their first grand final in 1991 and in only their 6th season they were the first expansionist team to poach Victoria's greatest prize. Despite being highly successful, the playing style of play that resulted in the ball being pushed towards the boundary lines to achieve constant stoppages. It was the kind of play that one would think would be the mastermind of a German drill sergeant. Clinical, efficient, successful and mundane.

In 1994, the West Coast received some competition from the newly established Dockers. The Dockers initially pushed their niche as WA's working class team and the Eagles as an upper class team. However, these respective images never stuck as the Dockers had a habit of laying down in the face of physical intimidation, which was quite inconsistent with the desired working class image.

With the working class image failing to grab hold, the Dockers formed their image through being innovative. Silly colours, anchor fights and purple hair became the norm at games. In time, they formed a reputation for being a bit of a clown club. In comparison, the serious West Coast was dubbed "wet toast" which again reinforced their boring image.

Such is Life

Perhaps it was a feeling of inferiority in comparison to the Dockers that finally persuaded the Eagles to cook up some character of their own. Unfortunately, character injected via drugs is somewhat false, and has a degree of illegitimacy about it.

In 2005, the Eagles again made the Grand Final. Unlike their previous campaigns, which were built on an incredibly boring style of play, the Eagles had flair on the back of a highly creative midfield, and of course, speed. Although the Eagles came up a point short, the following year, they had another crack at it, and some more transactions later, the Eagles again made the Grand Final. Mid-way through the contest, it appeared as though the Eagles would come up short as they suffered injuries to key players. Iced up in the breaks, the players returned to the field, showed a commitment to the pill, and turned a sniff of a win into a victory. For many, the Eagles' ability to fight back against such adversity was a sign that they had truly passed the acid test.

In the post-match ecstasy, it was slowly revealed that the players had more than hardwork to thank for their sucess. Players started making admissions that when they thought of coke and ice, they weren’t thinking of Hungry Jacks, their proud sponsor. Eventually, Ben Cousins, arguably their best player of the last five years, was suspended for favouring drug use as his preferred form of training.

The club then tried to nip its drug use in the bud, but it did it in an odd way. It admitted that it was still paying Cousins the $800,000-a-year salary that he was using to finance his $3,000-a-week habit. Because asking Cousins to leave his gear at home amounted to little more than smack on the wrist, it raised questions about why the club was reluctant to inflict a blow on the revenue streams that maintained Cousins' addiction. Drug use is strictly forbidden in the AFL, and Cousins' admission could have easily been cause for the Eagles to cut him. Perhaps then, the Eagles had known about Cousins' unique training methods for some time, but for one reason or another, turned a blind eye for reasons other than Cousins' welfare. Under such circumstances, it couldn’t really put its nose in the air, when it has been partly responsible for Cousins having his nose to the ground.     

Cousins was sent on a rehabilitory trip to the US to get himself cleaned up. When he returned, the club rehashed a old message about how he should carry himself. Instead of acting like a rock star, the Eagles wanted him to carry on like a Jamaican on valium. Unfortunately, Cousins took the club a bit too literally. On a short trip in his car, Cousins was pulled up by the police drug squad and found with a valium tablet in his possession. For the Eagles, this was the final straw and his contract was subsequently torn up. Ben then vowed a court challenge for wrongful dismissal. In his defence, he said the final straw was in fact the a good 15 inches longer than usual, and thus technically allowed him to keep his distance from the blow.

To make matters worse for the Eagles, club legend Chris Mainwairing had recently died from heart failure brought on from a misused drug cocktail. While its local rival Fremantle carried the slogan of the purple haze, it had become very obvious that it was the Eagles was a cut above the rest when it came living the high life.

Roy Morgan research

West Coast Eagles supporters are:

2001 when compared to other Australians

2004 when compared to other AFL supporters

2006 when compared to other AFL supporters

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