Football Leagues
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"The spectator behaviour was appalling, and shocking, their main target was Murali, who had to face the music for no fault of his, most of these louts were under the influence of alcohol. If history is an indication, then I presume these men are direct descendants of the ex-convicts that Britain dumped on Australian soil, to keep their country free of criminals, if so their behaviour is understandable. To them the old adage that cricket is a gentlemen's game is a myth."Rex Wijewardene Sunday times Traditionally, cricket fans have been gentlemanly. They watched the game without showing much emotion. They cheered good play from opponents and arrived at the game in respectable attire such as suits and ties. World series cricket attracted a new breed of fan to whom cricket was not always the main attraction. Known as Yobbos, these fans liked making noise, taking the piss, and dressing up in silly attire. They brought with them drums, horns and instigated Mexican waves. Cricket games subsequently developed the kind of carnival atmosphere more commonly associated with football. Yet despite having many distractions to the game, the Yobbo's were far more one eyed in comparison to the gentleman fans of days gone by. Instead of cheering good play by opponents, Yobbos booed like a fan at a football game; chanting obscenities like 'Hadlee is a wanker'. For a while, the Yobbos had harmless fun but it was only a matter of time before they became the subject of complaints from the wowsers in the members stand. The members voiced their disapproval of the excessive noise and subsequently, the Yobbo's musical instruments were banned. The members were also offended by the Mexican wave as whenever it reached them, they remained seated to which the yobbos booed. Yobbo's also had a habit and breaking into the chant "members are wankers." It wasn't long before security began ejecting anyone suspecting of starting the wave or having a good time. With their musical instruments banned and their Mexican wave under attack, the Yobbos searched for new means of entertainment. Throwing items such as plastic cups and half eaten meat pies was the logical solution. This new form of entertainment caused serious problems as occasionally an unsuspecting cricket fan with no interest in food fights found themselves in the lions den of a pack of Yobbos. In such situations, protests to watch cricket in peace were greeted with sadistic laughter or perhaps a meat pie to the back of the head. Yobbo's also began entertaining themselves by invading the pitch. This was a concern to channel nine commentators as they looked silly when they spoke about the pride of playing for Australia only to then see Australians running onto the field without wearing any trousers! Authorities initially tried to calm Yobbism by ejecting troublemakers. Unfortunately, no matter how many were ejected, thousands remained to continue the troublemaking. This left the authorities with only one option; sell half strength beer. Many yobbos were outraged and vowed to boycott the cricket. Other yobbos developed ingenious schemes to smuggle alcohol into the stadium. They discovered that water melons could be injected with vodka. Fruit salad could be soaked in booze over night and port could be placed in coca -cola bottles and look like the real thing. Although the Australia yobbo has a lot of fun, they rarely cross the line into violence seen at soccer games, or in some cricketing crowds in the subcontinent. India makes a good contrast to Australia in that regard. While the police are a focal presence in Australian stadiums, in Indian stadiums they can constitute up to 20 per cent of the crowd. The police presence is essential due to the threat of rioting or other anti-social conduct.
Wawrick Todd Goes the Tonk.A piss-taking industry has emerged on the back of Australian cricket. Tom Gleisner of the "Late Show", "River Somewhere" and "Panel fame has recently entered this market with his book "Warwick Todd goes the Tonk". Warwick Todd is a depraved, cheating, self congratulating yet thoroughly likable, pisshead. His diary is a send up of the Australian team and gives an insight into the manner Australians seek depravity in all pastimes that are sold as noble. The following are extracts from the book. "Speaking of ex-captains, coming back from dinner I bumped into Ritchie Benaud at the airport. Unfortunately we didn't get much of a chance to chat as he was walking in one direction and the policeman I was handcuffed to was walking in the other." ON LIFE AS A TEST CRICKETER... 'Alcohol free days (or ADFs) are an important part of the team's fitness regime and I think it's true to say most members of the squad now observe at least one a year'. ON THOSE BRIBERY ALLEGATIONS... 'let me clear up this "bribery" thing once and for all. It is customary in India to exchange gifts, whether they be flowers, rice, incense or large cash payments.' Todd Man Out Story Matthew Jeffries It's hard to miss Warwick Todd, even if you're not a cricket fan. From the moment this batting legend ambles into Brisbane's Bayside Deli - a fashionably thirty five minutes late - he exudes a certain presence. Perhaps it's the swagger, the gold jewelry or the constantly ringing mobile phone. Or maybe just the cloud of cigarette smoke. Whatever the reason, people immediately notice and begin pointing. Within minutes patrons are coming over, requesting autographs and photos of their hero. Todd is polite but firm in his refusal to sign anything, explaining to one fan, 'I give you an autograph and tomorrow you'll be flogging it in some pub for three hundred bucks.' As the fan in front of him is barely nine years old this claim would seem a little far fetched, but Todd is adamant in his stance. 'Listen mate' (in our entire time together I am only ever referred to as 'mate', 'matey' and on one occasion, 'pal') he confides, 'being recognised is part of the whole deal but there are times when you'd give anything to just blend into the furniture.' I suggest removing his wraparound sunglasses and ACB-issue shirt might help but he dismisses the idea with a wave of his hand. Wawrick
Todd, or 'Toddy' as he is known to a legion of cricket lovers the world over,
is by his own admission a simple man. Just a bloke who likes a hit in the park
and a drink with my mates'. Yet controversy has seemed to follow this Aussie icon
throughout his sporting career, whether it be his frequent on-field indiscretions
('Match referees are f*#king ruining the game'), wild nightclub brawls, marital
tensions or his latest, well publicised battle with the Australian Taxation Office.
This latest topic clearly gets the big left hander fired up. 'Listen, mate, you
try and do something for society, put a bit back in, you know what I mean? And
these dickheads in Canberra piss all over you.' The 'dickheads' Todd refers to
are, of course, federal tax inspectors who earlier this year announced a probe
into the dealing of his recently registered charity Care for the Kids. The probe
centred around allegations that the only children to directly benefit from the
charity were, in fact, Todd's own two daughters, a claim vehemently denied by
the big hitting test hero. 'We set aside money to help out kids in need, all kids,
regardless of race, creed, colour or who they are related to. It's the f*#king
tall f*#king poppie syndrome and that's for f*#cking sure.' Extracts from "Warwick Todd goes the Tonk" As Told by Tom Gleisner ACB Books Sydney 2001.
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Invention of Australian sports Cricket
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